Things You Might Enjoy Reading
It is tough being a mature and thoughtful human being. These articles have helped me feel grounded and more able to respond appropriately when I am needing extra support to show up in a healthy and relational way. Carve out some time in your day, make a cup of tea, and read your way through em'.
I'm a big fan of Terry Real and have engaged in trainings with him over the last few years. He talks a lot about the importance of being in a place of health; a lot of people can slide back and forth on a spectrum from grandiosity to unworthiness. Rather than feeling torn between feeling superior and inferior, the goal is to be in the middle with healthy self-esteem and have a deep sense that we are all worthy of connection and respect. In the linked article he talks about "full-respect living" and gives concrete advice to keep you connected with the people you care about in a way that is sustainable, sincere, and meaningful.
This is an easy read that gives evolutionary context as to why we can be our own worst critic. If you work with me, you'll come to hear me say quite regularly that, "multiple things can be true at the same time." You are probably doing the best you can at the moment and it is possible that you can be doing even better. It is difficult but you can find a way to lovingly hold onto yourself while you make room to expand and show up in a more thoughtful and dedicated way.
It is easy to focus all of our energy and expectations outward rather than reflect on how we show up in relationships. Esther Perel encourages folks to frame their relationships in a way that allows them to get better in time and be flexible. If we're not careful we can have extremely high and rigid expectations that leave us feeling more frustrated than connected. I encourage you to think about how to send love to yourself through the ups and downs of being a human and extend that same kindness to others.