You may have heard these phrases-especially if you watch reality tv- to “stand on business” or “say it with your chest.” Both of these sayings encourage you to own what you’re saying and thinking. While I wouldn’t want to promote someone speaking from a place of aggression or intensely heightened emotion, I believe it is generally good advice to be truthful and clear about where you stand. If we’re struggling with shame and uncertainty we can be hard to connect with and at times can feel untrustworthy. Therapy is a place where you can bravely get curious about why you’re hesitant to make a choice and take a stance. If we’re standing on business it means that we have made some peace about where we’re at and what we’re gonna do about it. This doesn’t mean that you will be met with open and loving arms but it does mean that you give other people the chance to meet you with honesty and clarity. If you can’t own what you’re saying your words (and at times you) are flimsy. A life filled with connection and intimacy requires honesty and ownership.
Before you go, slow down and reflect on the parts of your life where you feel proud and clear. These are areas where it is easy for you to “say it with your chest.” That openness tends to feel easy to breathe into. Now reflect on the parts of your relationships or past where things feel murky and complicated. Why is it hard to be truthful in those realms? These moments of introspection are great opportunities to practice non-judgmental self-awareness. The more we can own what we are feeling and be clear about our actions, the more ease and peace we welcome into our lives.
