Getting Clear on Control

It’s common to want more peace and clarity in your life. One thing I return to again and again is getting clear about what I can and cannot control. The vast majority of things fall outside your control — which can provoke anxiety and, paradoxically, bring a sense of freedom. What we can influence is how we respond and react to different situations and stressors. We can also shape a few of the scenarios we put ourselves into and the people we keep close, but countless interpersonal dynamics will inevitably come your way, and your emotional maturity and skills are revealed in how you meet them.

It’s often hard to know why other people behave the way they do or what gets activated in them when they interact with you. Those dances and recurring patterns are part of what makes human relationships endlessly fascinating and sometimes painful. In personal therapy, we can explore why you might repeatedly find yourself in situations that feel compromising or triggering, and we can unpack who you allow into your inner circle and how those relationships affect your overall life satisfaction.

All that said, we can’t control other people, and thankfully we are not responsible for their actions or projections. Before you go, remember that YOU are in charge of YOUR choices. You, more than anyone else, will be affected by how you behave. Act with integrity, live in alignment with your values, and you — and the people around you — will benefit. As your awareness of what you can control grows, you will likely notice increased peace and greater clarity in your everyday life.